One of the Ineos staff members arrived at Old Trafford on Sunday in a red Grenadier. That cabal ought to be red in the face after another dismal day for Manchester United.
The crumb of comfort for them is there was an unintentional separation between regimes past and present during the FA Cup tie with Fulham. Leny Yoro was warmly applauded following his premature substitution, Matthijs de Ligt had his best game in a United shirt, Noussair Mazraoui played for more than two hours, breaking his fast in the second half, and the crestfallen Joshua Zirkzee was serenaded after his feeble penalty. All four were summer signings.
But two scapegoats emerged. Andre Onana, for his dilatory restarts from goal kicks, and the harmless Rasmus Hojlund. The cheers for Chido Obi's arrival were amplified by the identity of who he was replacing.
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Onana and Hojlund, of course, were two signings from the infamous 2023 summer, John Murtough's last as football director and Richard Arnold's last as chief executive. The circumstances of both deals must cause United fans to bury their heads in their hands.
United paid Inter Milan £47.2million for Onana a year after his contract ran out at Ajax. They would have known that because his manager at Ajax was Erik ten Hag, who left the same summer. David de Gea's dodgy distribution was already established in 2022, yet Ten Hag assessed him for a year and was so indecisive over whether to hand De Gea a new contract the goalkeeper announced his departure before United did.
A more disciplined football administrator would have balked at Ten Hag's demand to be reunited with an Ajax alumni who commanded nearly £50m. Not Arnold and Murtough.
Hojlund had a mediocre goalscoring record in three different countries, joined the same agency that represented Ten Hag and his fee suddenly ballooned to £64m. United had assured us they would not break £60m for the striker.
That deal was destined to fail. Hojlund was 20 when he signed, ten years younger than Harry Kane, Ten Hag's preferred striker target. That exposed United's appalling planning and foisted untold pressure onto Hojlund's shoulders. He has buckled and he now has no goals in 18 games.
A 17-year-old has replaced Hojlund two weeks running. More damning is that Obi got more chances in under an hour against Fulham than Hojlund has in two months.
Hojlund irked sections of the crowd by dodging duels with Calvin Bassey. Obi eased Bassey off the ball for his first opportunity. Diego Forlan banked goodwill among United fans during his 26-game drought as he was a trier. Hojlund put himself about on his debut against Arsenal centre halves William Saliba and Gabriel Magalhaes but now appears put off.
That £72m deal could end up as bad as the Antony transfer. Hojlund, Antony, Casemiro and Mason Mount commanded £288m in fees in the past three years. United have lost £300m in that time.
And they could still be saddled with all four next season. Mount has appeared in 33 games out of 94 and is a worse United number seven than Michael Owen. There will be no market for him in the summer.
United require a £15m fee not to make a loss on Casemiro under the Premier League's profitability and sustainability rules. Even Saudi Pro League clubs are turning their noses up at him. There should be a market for Antony amid his fine form for Real Betis but he will be valued at £32.52m. Nobody is paying that.
The get-out for United and their duds is a season-long loan with an obligation to buy. Then the club have the player (mostly) off the books. Zirkzee, signed because of his prudent £36.5m release clause and nationality, would be easier to discard than Hojlund as he cost roughly half the price. Ditto Tyrell Malacia, a £13m buy in 2022 who will be available for £3.25m in 2025.
United cannot countenance clubs taking their players on the cheap, if they are to comply with PSR. Zirkzee generated interest from Italian clubs at the turn of the year and Serie A has become a dumping ground for United rejects who have gone on to thrive out there.
Romelu Lukaku, Matteo Darmian, Ashley Young and Alexis Sanchez won the Scudetto with Inter Milan and Chris Smalling and Henrikh Mkhitaryan lifted the Conference League vase for Roma. Mkhitaryan has reached headier heights with Inter, where he is teammates with Darmian.
Injured 30-somethings Tom Heaton and Jonny Evans will likely retire, Victor Lindelof and Christian Eriksen will be released and United will bank between £20m and £25m for Jadon Sancho from charitable Chelsea.
Banking £40m, or close to it, for Marcus Rashford would safeguard homegrown heroes Alejandro Garnacho and Kobbie Mainoo, who have to remain integral to United's future whatever the system and whoever the coach is. The club will have to be more decisive discarding other academy products with re-sale value not getting a look-in (e.g. the unfathomably underused Harry Amass).
A quirk of Onana's future is United have not proactively sold a No.1 goalkeeper since Alex Stepney headed across the Atlantic in 1978. Onana's worth will be £28.32m in the summer, with three years left on his deal, and the only viable market would be the Saudi Pro League.
Onana recently switched to the Lian Sports Group agency that has Saudi residents Kalidou Koulibaly and Edouard Mendy in their stable. But Onana's move to Lian was unrelated to a prospective summer transfer. Altay Bayindir, a cheap buy at £4.1m, is likelier to go.
With Lisandro Martinez fit, United will have five centre backs. Seven if auxiliary options Mazraoui and Luke Shaw are included. Shaw is another high earner United are stuck with. The probable departures of Evans and Lindelof would give United leverage for another incoming in that area, though not the funds.
Before Grenadiers occupied the Old Trafford car park, United signings would pose next to a Chevrolet. Now United are driving targets away from signing for them.
