A mom who allows her 12-year-old daughter to live in an apartment over her garage says it’s an investment in her future.
“It’s a feeling of independence without actually having to be independent,” Audrey Barton, a mother of three in Missouri, tells TODAY.com.
Barton’s 12-year-old daughter Isabella has been living in a unit on top of her family’s garage for the past year. Aside from the bedroom, Isabella has a kitchenette, bathroom, walk-in closet and living area, where her friends love to hang out. Isabella can only access her apartment through the garage, which is attached to the main house. The space is private enough that her parents can’t hear her walking around or talking.
“We wouldn’t even know if she was there or not,” says Barton.
This setup might not be for everyone, but Barton says giving her daughter independence will pay off in the future.
“We are not millionaires, but we can create generational wealth by allowing our kids to live with us as long as possible” while saving up without paying rent, Barton said in a TikTok video, in which she cleans Isabella’s apartment. “In order to do that, they kind of need their own space.”
Barton added in the video that her son Grayson, 8, will one day have an apartment in their basement (which has a separate entrance, she tells TODAY.com), while son Xander, almost 1, can choose between the two spaces.
People on Instagram and TikTok, where Barton posted the video, had opinions.
- “Having space for your kids when they’re older to not pay rent is AMAZING!!! She will appreciate this so much when she grows up.”
- “12 year old has an apartment? WTF?”
- “THIS is parenting.”
- “Kids are just too spoiled these days, there are other ways to teach them independence and good habits.”
- “I did this for my kids. Instead of rent, they spent their money on cars and holidays. Still living here.”
- “Its a wonderful space, but nothing in this apartment says 12 year old girl! Where are her toys, her books, and her treasures?”
- “You’re setting them up for success and showing them so much love.”
- “Must be rough...”
- “I’m nuts and love this idea, but safety-wise, it would stress me out.”
“Two years ago, we lost our house and our pets in a fire,” Barton, who lives across the street from her parents, tells TODAY.com. “I was crying to my dad, ‘We have no place to go’ and he said, ‘Of course you have a place to go: my home.’”
She adds, “There was always this idea that I could go home if I needed to ... that home was a place to seek refuge.”
Barton says she has told Isabella, “It would be so cool if you could live here, work at a real grown-up job and then afford a modest home ... and you’ll already be ahead in life.” Barton adds that it's also OK if her children don’t want to live at home as adults.
Isabella does have rules, one of which is to keep her apartment tidy on a daily basis. Barton, a professional organizer, deep cleans once every two months.
“One of the reasons I do come up and help clean once in a while is because this is a very large space for a 12-year-old,” Barton said in the video.
Barton says that Isabella loves her living situation.
"I really try to be conscious with my parenting and reflect on whether I am doing things the way I’m supposed to,” Barton tells TODAY.com. “As my daughter was growing up, I started noticing that she was pulling away and craving independence ... She is a pre-teen, so her parents are lame.”
By giving Isabella a private space, says Barton, “We still oversee what she does, but from a distance, so she feels empowered and confident.”
Barton likes being “the hang-out house,” too.
“We wanted to be the place where everyone could gather,” she says. “Isabella and her friends act like she has her own house up there. They love it.”
Barton sleeps soundly with her daughter upstairs.
“The room we built above the garage is all connected — you have to come into our home to access her area,” says Barton. “She doesn’t have an exit of her own. Some people say, ‘I could never’ but she’s completely inside of our house.” Additionally, she says, the garage and home are locked and security systems are in place.
“I used to be scared of burglars and fire and my anxiety was always rampant. I rarely slept,” says Barton. “After our house fire, I realized that I was worried and it still happened.”
What about boys dropping by?
“I don’t know if I have to worry about that, but ... someone can’t sneak in,” says Barton. “We would know if a boy was upstairs.”
This story first appeared on TODAY.com. More from TODAY:
