Breath is bated and hooks are tentered, the country as one and preparing for the biggest day of the year: Marcus Mumford’s birthday.
But tomorrow is also another day closer to the transfer deadline, with Arsenal making yesterday’s biggest move, seeking attention by offering for Aston Villa’s Ollie Watkins. However, with Jhon Durán opting for a career break at Al-Nassr, the chances of such a deal happening seem slim – though which centre-forward wouldn’t be seduced by the prospect of the incomparable thrill of waiting ages and ages before taking a corner or free-kick? A second bid is said to be incoming.
Related: Men’s transfer window January 2025: all deals from Europe’s top five leagues
Across north London, Tottenham are also looking at attackers, hilariously entering the race for Southampton’s Tyler Dibling. Most likely, the player joins Bayern Munich or Borussia Dortmund, both also interested, but the enticing opportunity of full spursification, bringing with it a life of perpetual failure and untold misery, may yet win the day.
In other striker news, Marcus Rashford’s search for a new club continues, the bouncing babe who charmed the nation and saved the children the latest potential superstar ground into a husk of a human by The Biggest Football Club In The World™. Unfortunately for him, the market for streaky strikers who earn wild money and won’t press, track back or train properly is not at its peak, but Barcelona fancy a loan deal – if they can complete it by Monday’s deadline.
This may require Ansu Fati to leave Camp Nou, thereby freeing up the required spot in the squad. And the good news for Rashford and Manchester United is that Ajax are interested, their talent ID lads having deduced that their squad lacks a “played 11 games in the last season-and-a-half” profile.
If the above happens, United might try to ruin Mathys Tel, available from Bayern Munich and reportedly keen on the switch. Given he’s young and they don’t need him, of course Chelsea are also interested – they are, as we speak, drawing up a 5,923-year contract – likewise Arsenal, and if all else fails, he’ll at least be able to reject Spurs.
Another striker with an uncertain future is Victor Osimhen. Galatasaray have offered £54.5m to make his loan permanent, a bid turned down by Napoli; the player is thought to be holding out for Spurs.
Napoli are, though, still interested in Alejandro Garnacho as United pursue their policy of unsettling their few half-decent players in winter, so they can spend the summer talking about culture-changes and clearouts while overpaying for anyone who has ever played for Ruben Amorim. To facilitate this, Big Sir Jim Ratcliffe will reduce the wattage on the Old Trafford lightbulbs and charge all who enter the ground for any air they may breathe.
And finally, Steven Gerrard has seemingly asked to leave Al-Ettifaq. Though the league’s officials are not necessarily renowned for their adoration of liberty or workers’ rights, there is a sense that 19 points from 17 games might just persuade his bosses to release him.
