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Lauren Goodger says she ‘hated’ her body after having two babies ‘back to back’

Lauren Goodger has vowed to get fit after saying she “hate” her body after her two “back to back” pregnancies.

The former TOWIE star, 35, admitted she’s “been through a lot lately” and still wakes up “crying.”

It comes after Lauren tragically lost her newborn baby, Lorena, due to complications during her birth last month.

Struggling: Lauren Goodger has vowed to get fit, after she said she ‘hated’ her body after her two ‘back to back’ pregnancies

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She was allegedly assaulted on the day of her baby’s funeral. Her boyfriend Charles Drury, 25, was later arrested and released on bail following the incident.

She went through a “horrific whirlwind” with the deaths of both Lorena and her ex-boyfriend Jake McLean – who lost his life when his car plunged 70 feet off a cliff in Turkey last month.

Now the reality star has admitted that she “completely lost herself” and wanted to lose some weight after falling pregnant with Lorena just eight weeks after giving birth to her first daughter Larose, 13 months.

Sad news: Former TOWIE star, 35, admitted she's 'been through a lot lately' and still wakes up 'crying'

Sad news: Former TOWIE star, 35, admitted she’s ‘been through a lot lately’ and still wakes up ‘crying’

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In her Instagram story on Sunday she wrote: ‘I’ve been through a lot lately and still have my rough days or nights, I wake up crying etc.

“But I’m so strong and I have a little princess that I have to show you how to be nice, strong and an independent woman, etc.

“I’ve had 2 babies back to back and my body felt I hated I wasn’t me I completely lost myself.”

Horrible: It comes after Lauren tragically lost her newborn baby, Lorena, due to complications during her birth last month

Horrible: It comes after Lauren tragically lost her newborn baby, Lorena, due to complications during her birth last month

“I’ve lost some weight now (baby weight) and I just went back to the gym (today).”

So I started a new page @laurengoodgerbodyx. I am not a nutritionist I am not a PT everything I show is my own.

“Things I’ll show… my cooking, my training and my body and I’m not selling anything, it’s just for fun.”

Cryptic: She also shared a quote that said,

Cryptic: She also shared a quote that said, “I ran away because you were too busy finding fault with me, when I was too busy overlooking yours…”

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She also shared a quote that said, “I ran away because you were too busy finding fault with me when I was too busy overlooking yours…”

On Monday, Lauren wrote an emotional post to her daughter Larose, pledging to always take care of her and protect her from “the bad people.”

She wrote: ‘You are my only and my everything. I’m so sorry you’re disappointed. I’ll explain when you’re older. Mama has you always and forever and I protect you from the bad people, I love you so much.

Emotional: On Monday, Lauren wrote an emotional post to her daughter Larose, pledging to always take care of her and protect her from

Emotional: On Monday, Lauren wrote an emotional post to her daughter Larose, pledging to always take care of her and protect her from “the bad people.”

“I cry every day when I see your little face every morning and every night and you look around you, it’s just always mommy.

“I’m so sorry I have no words for it it’s like a bad dream turned into a nightmare we don’t deserve this I’m so sorry but you’re so loved and I’ll never leave you I’d live in a barn to to make sure I had you around.’

She turned to Lorena and added, “My angel baby is watching me and with both of us… I’m so sorry. I waited for a better day and now you’re in a better place. I love you Lorena.’

'Sorry': She turned to Lorena and added, 'My angel baby is watching me and with both of us… I'm so sorry.  I waited for a better day and now you're in a better place, I love you Lorena'

‘Sorry’: She turned to Lorena and added, ‘My angel baby is watching me and with both of us… I’m so sorry. I waited for a better day and now you’re in a better place, I love you Lorena’

It comes after Lauren took to Instagram on Thursday to share an update on her grief after tragically losing her newborn daughter Lorena to birth complications in July.

The former TOWIE star threw out the funeral floral arrangements and shared that she is taking the process “step by step.”

The TV personality shared a photo of the flowers as she described the process as “the most difficult time of my life.”

The spread featured white floral letters made in Lorena’s name and a collection of pink bunches.

'One step at a time': It comes after Lauren took to Instagram on Thursday to share an update on her grief after tragically losing her newborn daughter Lorena to birth complications in July

‘One step at a time’: It comes after Lauren took to Instagram on Thursday to share an update on her grief after tragically losing her newborn daughter Lorena to birth complications in July

Lauren shared a photo with her 895K followers, explaining, “I just threw away my baby girls’ flowers this morning.

“I’ve kept them all and the outdoor plants in my yard all this time… Step by step❤️,” Lauren wrote.

She continued with the struggle of being a single parent and coping with the grief, continuing, “The hardest time of my life and grieving alone, just being strong for my Larose.”

Lauren also shared a cryptic quote in her Stories that read, “Keep the real one close. There aren’t too many left.’

Emotional: Throwing out the funeral floral arrangements, the former TOWIE star shared she's taking the process 'step by step'

Emotional: Throwing out the funeral floral arrangements, the former TOWIE star shared she’s taking the process ‘step by step’

While she also shared a black and white selfie the night before – with Mariah Carey’s hit Hero over the top of the snap.

Lorena was born with two knots in her umbilical cord, tied around her neck, and despite ten doctors fighting to save her, she died shortly after she was born.

She shares Larose with ex-partner Charles, who is also Lorena’s father – with the on-off couple who broke up last November.

In addition to the tragic loss of her second daughter, Lauren was allegedly assaulted on the day of her baby’s funeral. Charles, 25, was later arrested and released on bail following the incident.

Hero: While Lauren also shared a black and white selfie with her Stories the night before - with Mariah Carey's hit Hero over the top of the snap

Hero: While Lauren also shared a black and white selfie with her Stories the night before – with Mariah Carey’s hit Hero over the top of the snap

Last month, Lauren wrote a touching post about her grief, saying she plans to write a book about the tragedy someday to help others who may be going through the loss of a child.

“I want to thank you all for the support, I’m broken,” Lauren wrote on her Instagram stories at the time.

One day I will write my second book and tell my story to everyone I experienced when I was old. And hopefully it can be someone’s survival guide.’

On/Off: She shares Larose with ex-partner Charles Drury, who is also Lorena's father - with the on-off couple who broke up last November

On/Off: She shares Larose with ex-partner Charles Drury, who is also Lorena’s father – with the on-off couple who broke up last November

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